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The grass is not greener on the other side… it’s just the same colour

Josh, Maya and Sophie

Throughout my life I have suffered from ‘the grass is greener on the othersideitis’. As a child I wanted my sister’s long blonde hair, I wanted all the toys my cousin had. I wanted the eloquence and humour of a family friend, and the confidence and fitness of my neighbour up the road. As I grew into a teenager, I wanted the popularity of the cool kids, their boyfriends and make-up. I wanted to travel like the adventurers on TV and be as skinny as all those people who were skinnier than me. For my whole life I have measured myself against all those who I felt had more, and always came up short. So I strived with heart and soul to achieve all those things that I thought were missing from my life.

In my almost 35 years of life so far I have done much. I have had long hair, worked hard to buy the ‘toys’ I thought I wanted to play with. I have written poems that have later brought tears to my eyes, and have made many people laugh. I have married the handsome guy and given birth to the beautiful son. I have walked with confidence, been skinny, and journeyed to the most wonderful of places. I have travelled to the top of my mountains of fear, and skipped happily down the other side. Now, as I sit in the office of the house I have built, I realise a few things that I’m sure I have realised a million times over. There is no cure for ‘the grass is greener on the othersideitis’. And even though this is not new information, today, as I sit here, it’s a new feeling.

There isn’t a pill or potion for something like this. Because no matter how many things I have, it is only the love and acceptance that I have inside, for myself, that quiets the voices. It is only the prayer that I feed to my soul that makes any difference. The only thing that really matters in this world is the conversation that I have with the One who created me.

I’m asking myself, exactly what the point is to these words that I’m writing. Perhaps it’s a message, to myself most of all, but to others out there who are pushing themselves to madness. The things we posses are fleeting.   Tomorrow they will belong to someone else, our bodies will rot in the ground, and the stories of our lives will be the ones of love and service. Our history will be written on the walls of other men’s hearts, not the walls of our castles.

Perhaps this is a signing off, I’m not really sure if this blog will continue. Our lovely home is built and we are enjoying it’s spaces. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride so far. My focus now will be on new and exciting challenges that life is already stirring up for us! Perhaps this will be the place to share some of that, perhaps it will be HERE! Do keep in touch!

Love love love

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Posted by on June 7, 2012 in From the Heart

 

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All moved in … almost unpacked!

We’ve been living in the house for 9 days now and its starting to feel like home! There are just a few boxes left to unpack! Still lots of mess, as we have no shelves in our storage areas, but that will all come in time.

We were very fortunate to get a lovely living room suite from a friend’s son and daughter-in-law! It’s cosy and looks really well in the space!

There are a few tiny jobs left to finish, a little silicone around the downstairs bathroom, door stops, steps for outside and things like that.. But it shouldn’t take more than a few days.

Florence has another job lined up after ours is all done, so we’re all happy about that!

Here are a few photos I took today of the tidy bits of the house!

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Posted by on May 2, 2012 in Moving House

 

Moving in Update!

So we officially moved in on Sunday, but only slept here on Monday night.

Josh has been quite unwell and so we didn’t want to disrupt him more than he already has been. We were quite worried about him, and I felt that all the moving about was just too much for him. He has been very clingy, not wanting to leave my arms at all, very upset and needing a lot of reassurance. He was waking with nightmares, seeing monsters in the dark and started to want to sleep with the light on. He was barely eating and had no energy.

I hadn’t realised just how much all this moving was taking out of him so today I took him to see a new homeopath. Thankfully the remedy she gave him has so far been working really well and seems to be helping him cope better with all the recent changes. I think I felt that he was very resiliant but in reality he has been as sensitive to the stress of moving, as we all have been.

I’m just so relieved he seems to be on the mend now.. Once we’re a little more settled I will update the photos. But for now I’m going to enjoy my evening, as for once Josh is sleeping happily upstairs.

Being in the house has been a real pleasure so far. The shower is great, the kitchen is a dream, the spaces are lovely, it’s always warm and its so nice and quiet. Sound doesn’t seem to travel through the house and falling asleep last night, with the beautiful sound of birds singing and the river flowing was just lovely. When its dark you can see a spread of shining stars from the window.. Now that Josh is feeling better, we’ll really be able to unpack the mess of boxes and get ourselves organised.

I will update more soon!

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2012 in From the Heart, Moving House

 

On the verge …

You might have noticed that new posts on the house are few and far between at this stage. This is due to pretty much, utter exhaustion! By the end of the day I’m ready for one of two things, bed or chocolate. Chocolate wins out most days and I’m extremely fortunate to work in a shop that sells some really yummy samples! Though I must admit, the nutritional therapist in me is grieving for my poor adrenal glands!

On the house front! We will move in this week. I have a day off work next week, so I’ll have 5 uninterrupted days to settle! To help Josh settle and to hopefully let Rob rest. We have had a large pile of boxes in the living room for about a week now, gathering dust. But over the next few days, that pile will slowly filter out around the house and find home in their new rooms.

This morning we received the last of the glue for the floor, a tub that we’ve been waiting on for the last three weeks. The stairs received the last finishing touches today, and so we are now just about ready to have the architect come and do his final inspection!

Reaching this point has been interesting, and when people now say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do, I completely understand. We’ve been in the odd limbo of living with my parents for over 5 weeks now. It has given us a gentle introduction to living in the country, but its just not natural to live with ones parents, especially when you’re married with a child of your own! I can’t thank my parents enough for all they have sacrificed in having us here.

I look forward to moving around in the new house.. already i feel myself longing to be there. I had a mini breakdown a few days ago, when the pressure of the world was just a little bit too much. Dad and I walked down the lane in the dark, with my fluffy green dressing gown blowing in the wind, my pajama pants stuffed into my welly boots. I cried all the stress away.  I walked into the house and cried some more because I wish I could give the builders more than I can. I feel so blessed, but so tired. I’m noticing that my reaction to a lot of things at the moment is tears.

The upstairs of the house has lovely carpet but no beds, so in my mind I will lie down on the warm floor and sleep.. while the rest of me will get a cup of tea and watch Grey’s Anatomy, and no I won’t eat chocolate… most likely!!

 
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Posted by on April 17, 2012 in From the Heart

 

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Day 276 – Getting ready to move in!

This week we got carpet, which was a pretty exciting development! It means that upstairs is all but finished. We just need to hoover, clean the windows, and finish a few things in the bathrooms.

Downstairs the bamboo is almost done, we’re waiting on some more floor adhesive. Rob and my Dad have been working hard on sanding and painting the door frames. The skirting boards have been put on, with just a few more pieces to go. Florence finished the hot water connection on Friday and we now have hot water and a more refined heating system.

Slowly all the little jobs that need to be done, are being finished one by one and we’re getting closer and closer to moving in. We’re going to wash the windows and clean the floor tomorrow and start moving a few boxes into the living space.

Here are a few photos of the bamboo, the kitchen and the new carpet.

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Posted by on April 7, 2012 in Flooring, Internal Finishes

 

Day 271 – The kitchen and house by night!

Here are a few photos of the house at night! The kitchen is now in and its brilliant! It turned out great!

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Day 270 – Spring Flowers

Here are a few photos taken on Thursday!

 
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Posted by on March 29, 2012 in From the Heart